While family members may be prepared for the biological death of a loved one, other aspects such as emotional challenges and social changes are often neglected. Death brings about multi-dimensional uncertainties. Families need more than medical information in order to better prepare themselves.
Having open conversations with your family, the healthcare team and religious/faith community will better help support the grief journey.
While the pain of impending physical separation can feel overwhelming, you may consider the important life lessons you want to impart to your loved ones.
Prepare yourself and your loved ones and take time to say goodbye.
You could speak to your loved ones about how you have shaped their lives and ways they can continue their bonds with you. You may wish to create memories with your loved ones and for them to continue their lives with your presence in another form. Some suggestions are through photographs, voice recordings, cooking and eating your favourite dishes, practising values that guided your life, etc.
Grief comes in waves,
Giant waves,
Ferocious waves,
Surging Waves Knocking you off your feet.
When someone you love has died, you may experience a sense of relief for them. Witnessing their suffering was painful. Mixed with the feeling perhaps of guilt for not doing enough and/or for giving them permission to leave.
The slowing down of pace and with more time on hand, the impact of permanent separation starts to slowly sink in. There is no neat package and short cut through this journey of grief.
Recalling the conversations and your involvement with your deceased love ones is a way of missing and remembering them. Be kind to yourself. This process may go on for a while.
Review your experience, identify your emotions and the triggers of loss. New insights may develop over time.
There are ways to cope with changes brought about by death of your loved one, managing the grief; and find new meanings in life as your loved one had wished for you.
PHYSICAL | PSYCHOLOGICAL / EMOTIONAL | SOCIAL / BEHAVIORAL | SPIRITUAL |
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PSYCHOLOGICAL / EMOTIONAL
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SPIRITUAL
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HCA Bereavement Helpline 9789 9217 [email protected] | Children’s Cancer Foundation 6229 3701 www.ccf.org.sg/contact-us/locate-us/ | Care Corner Counselling Hotline (Mandarin) 1800 3535 800 |
Child Bereavement Support (Singapore) www.cbss.sg/ | Counselling and Care Centre 6536 6366 counsel.org.sg/contact-us/ | Hua Mei Centre 6593 9576 tsaofoundation.org/towards-successful-ageing/hmcsa/counselling-and-coaching |
Life Point 6538 9877 / 6239 0936 shenghong.org.sg/life-point/ | O’Joy Care Services 6749 0190 www.ojoy.org/contact | Sage Counselling Centre 6354 1191 www.sagecc.org.sg/#/contact |
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) 1767 www.sos.org.sg/contact-us | Viriya Community Services 6285 8033 | Wicare Support Group 6354 2475 www.wicare.org.sg/contactus.html |
Anniversaries, birthdays and festivals are a time for the family to gather. Your thoughts may drift to your loved one who had died. It may be especially challenging during the first year when their presence is missed.
You may wish to spend time alone, preferring to join the gathering when you are ready. Share what you are comfortable sharing. It could be memories of your loved ones, new beginnings in your life, meaning from your loss, new insights of how your loved one had impacted and shaped your life. Sharing of grief and life experiences could strengthen the familial bonds and possibly bring joy and new hope to everyone.
Labyrinth walks date back thousands of years, and is used as a method of prayer, meditation or reflection.
A labyrinth unlike a maze, has only a single path to the center. It has no dead ends. The path leads us to the center, a sacred place, where tears, regrets, sadness, guilt and anger are often released to one’s Higher Being or Higher Power. When walking out of the labyrinth, many report feeling a sense of peace and hope for the future.
We now invite you to reflect on your loss using the labyrinth walk. The feelings of not knowing the way, feeling lost, or simply feeling as though no progress is being made are common in grief.
If you would like to experience a life-size Labyrinth garden walk, please contact the following organisations.
Montfort Centre
Address: 624 Upper Bukit Timah Road Singapore 678212
Phone: 6769 5711
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.montfortcentre.org/facilities
FMM House of Prayer & Formation
Address: 49 Holland Road Singapore 258849
Phone: 6474 2526
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://www.fmm-mysg.org/contact.html