Do we sometimes wonder where this illness will lead us? Will we get better or will we deteriorate?
The way the illness develops affects you and your loved ones in all aspects of your lives. Each change or difference would spark the question: “Is this a sign that the day is coming?”
Your days may feel like riding a roller-coaster, with both good and bad moments. There may be times when it seems no one understands what you’re going through—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The feeling of loneliness might make you wonder how far you can go. Yet the strength within you and the support from your family, friends, and healthcare team might lend you the energy to get through another day.
Your days may be like riding a roller-coaster. There are good AND bad moments. There may be times when it seems no one understands what you go through – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The feeling of aloneness might make you wonder how far you can go. Yet the strength within you and the support you’re your family, friends and healthcare team might lend you the energy to get through another day.
Let us take one step at a time.
This is a list of that may guide your planning:
As the illness progresses, you may experience various changes in your body. Simple activities such as walking, eating, breathing and sitting require tremendous effort. You might feel like you are running out of time and unable to complete your plans. Difficult emotions may arise when you think about death and you feel bad being a burden on your loved ones. You may also question the meaning and purpose of your existence.
You may notice that at times these emotions become so entangled that it can leave you feeling stressed and frustrated. Be gentle on yourself. Speak to a trusted person, your healthcare team or professional to seek clarity.
You may have already made provisions for your loved ones with your assets. We encourage you to review these items to reflect your latest preferences.
Have you wondered about who could carry out your wishes and preferences, and how? These are some tools to communicate your preferences related to treatment and end-of-life care with your loved ones and healthcare team.
Your final gift of love for your loved ones could be initiating conversations around preferences for the last rites and funeral. You could face some initial hesitation from your loved ones; this is often a sign of grief over the impending separation. Being able to hold this difficult discussion could help maintain some sense of control within the family.
Here are some common topics:
I See Dead People: Dreams and Visions of the Dying | Dr. Christopher Kerr | TEDxBuffalo
Click to watchLearning about end-of-life processes may help you better prepare yourself in supporting your dying loved one. Sharing the knowledge will help all involved to embrace the roller coaster ride more intentionally, meaningfully, engendering a greater sense of mutual support.
Being attuned to the physical, mental and emotional changes of your loved one can help you recognise signs that they could be approaching their eventuality.
Let us take one step at a time.
This is a list of that may guide your planning:
In the final days of life, there is a gradual shutting down of bodily functions. Your loved one will slowly withdraw from their world. Below is a list of common symptoms of dying persons, but your loved one may not necessarily experience all of them.
The senses of hearing and touch are the last to fade. Speaking words of comfort with a reassuring touch would provide your loved one with a peaceful and soothing environment.
You may feel emotionally torn towards the end of your loved one’s life – on one hand, you hope they will be with you for as long as possible, and yet you wish their suffering from illness will not be prolonged. At the same time, you continue to provide them with daily physical care. Below are some tips that may help sustain the caregiving journey:
Children respond to grief differently as they may have limited experience to help them understand the permanence of death. Children will respond and model the behaviour of familiar adults. It is important to involve the children early, to identify and scaffold their understanding through this period of uncertainty and change. Strategies include:
The death of a loved one is painful no matter how much preparation we have. Take as much time as you need with your loved one. The legal obligation to report deaths in Singapore is within 24 hours. The practical steps that follow after a death at home are:
Releasing a sky lantern into the night sky is a poignant way to send our thoughts and wishes to our loved ones. As the warm, golden glow flickers and gently ascends into the sky, the lantern carries a piece of our hearts, our love, and cherished memories, to the ones we hold dear.
We invite you to send your thoughts, memories and wishes by releasing a virtual sky lantern.